I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
