Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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