people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you win again, gameday.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
We left the knife in your bed.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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