do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
