Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
