I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.