I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Betty ford says i'm here all night
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
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He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
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A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone