I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
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i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
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I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.