I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize