Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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