Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
