It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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