Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?

  (830): View more from Texas

  its hotter. Way hotter.

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  (512): Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this? (830): its hotter. Way hotter. http://tfl.nu/1e9l
  Replies (61) Good night (3499) Bad night (734)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."

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  (248): you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion." http://tfl.nu/tkud
  Replies (12) Good night (5516) Bad night (1167)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.

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  (603): He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was. http://tfl.nu/3v3c
  Replies (17) Good night (1406) Bad night (3533)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.

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  (337): I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven. http://tfl.nu/stao
  Replies (4) Good night (3842) Bad night (852)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.

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  (802): i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please. http://tfl.nu/g6pa
  Replies (5) Good night (3950) Bad night (1310)
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  (753): View more from

  He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.

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  (753): He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means. http://tfl.nu/ooa4
  Replies (4) Good night (1727) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?

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  (716): my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in? http://tfl.nu/3561
  Replies (18) Good night (6086) Bad night (1327)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.

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  (815): I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time. http://tfl.nu/qrqx
  Replies (7) Good night (2359) Bad night (747)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.

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  (919): Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok. http://tfl.nu/xw7f
  Replies (7) Good night (2709) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok

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  (386): I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok http://tfl.nu/xajl
  Replies (4) Good night (1210) Bad night (1125)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.

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  (412): Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut. http://tfl.nu/ynt5
  Replies (3) Good night (1026) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.

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  (313): I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off. http://tfl.nu/tbu4
  Replies (11) Good night (532) Bad night (1085)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...

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  (512): I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to... http://tfl.nu/6eke
  Replies (13) Good night (525) Bad night (1791)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.

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  (702): Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors. http://tfl.nu/41jv
  Replies (3) Good night (588) Bad night (192)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.

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  (217): and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear. http://tfl.nu/et11
  Replies (1) Good night (169) Bad night (531)

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