I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
