It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
being pregnant is like rehab
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
