I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
