So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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