I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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