Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
