ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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