yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
