Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
