YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
