So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize