his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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