Don't make out with my wife yet
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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