Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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