i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
