Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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