So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
