6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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