Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
