My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
