i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I wish i was in the wii world.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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