woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
