you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
This baby is an asshole
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
