i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
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It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
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How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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