just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
