You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
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I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
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There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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