I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
