just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
