So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
