Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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