Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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