walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
