Duck Duck Cougar?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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