she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
