So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
