4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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