dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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