i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
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I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
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I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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