ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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