We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
