You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
This baby is an asshole
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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