What did we do last night that was yellow?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
