Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
