please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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