We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
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You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
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You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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