Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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