Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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