I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
