there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
