Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
one might say we're banned from that church
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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